Poles and Perspective
“Stand behind the pole!” the cast member screeched, while gesturing angrily and pointing. (side note: Disneyland uses this term for its workers when they are out in the parks, as if they are taking part in a performance. If her character was playing the part of “pissed-off, over-worked, underpaid/appreciated, burned out employee” — she nailed it)
Backing up a couple of hours, we were at Disneyland (the real one in Anaheim) and it was one of our first dates. I won’t tell you how long ago it was because I can’t do math, but it was at the beginning of the 90s and all I can really remember is she said “sure — sounds fun” when asked. We’d been there since the park opened and she wanted to watch the parade. (If you don’t know, people start lining up for those things WAY in advance) About an hour ahead of time we found a reasonable spot, grabbed some food, and proceeded to wait.
We had a vague notion of the route, but counted it good fortune when we saw a small metal hole in the ground where we knew a pole would be placed to make the flimsy chain fence that provided a line of demarcation between the performers and us. The hour passed quickly like those magical early dates have a habit of doing.
Sure enough, about 15 minutes before magic hour a cast member (playing the role of “parade security worker”) came by and slipped a pole into the ground in front of us and then continue on placing another every 10' or so. No chain had been strung between them, when the woman playing the role of “this job was NOT what I expected it to be” quickly approached us yelling and pointing.
“Stand behind the pole!”
I’d like to take this opportunity to say that it was pretty obvious where the parade route was and where the chain would be strung. We were definitely on the correct side of the still-imaginary line.
“Stand behind the pole — behind it!”
A pole is a fucking circle, not a fence. We’re “behind” where the fucking chain will be once you fucking string it up.
Since this was an early date AND we were at Disneyland where you can’t swear, we actually said something like “we’re happy to move, but “behind” doesn’t really tell us much. We can see where the barrier will go and it certainly seems like we’re in the clear. Can you elaborate more clearly please?” (ok — maybe not quite like that…)
“Do you want me to call security? Get behind the POLE!” she bellowed.
We stepped back 6 inches from our original position and a crisis was averted. Needless to say that once the chain was strung, there was enough room for a group to quickly move in front of us and our view slipped from “perfect” to “partially obstructed”.
It wasn’t the time for nuanced discussion we had realized. “Behind” when talking about circular things is 100% a matter of perspective. We could have stood 180 degrees apart around its radius and (technically) both been “behind the pole”. We could have stood right next to each other and simultaneously been both “behind” and “in front” of it, while also being “next” to it. “Top” and “Bottom” were slightly less arbitrary. She didn’t appear to be game for a philosophical discussion about perspective unfortunately.
Perspective is important. It’s both funny and incredibly sad that too many people cannot understand this simple fact. Technically speaking, “standing perfectly still” is impossible on Earth due to it’s axial and solar rotations, coupled with the movement of solar systems and galaxies.
The notion that Joe Biden or Kamala Harris are “far-left liberal socialists” is completely bonkers. Frankly, Bernie Sanders doesn’t even remotely begin to qualify for that label. Looking back at the last 100 years or so of American politicians, the current President and VP are slightly right of center with Sanders and Elizabeth Warren slightly left of center. All four technically fall within the range of “moderate”-again, based on our own history.
Is it possible that “Left” and “Right” are relative terms instead of absolute? Is it possible that Biden is painted as “far-left” because the other side has pushed itself so far to the right that simply suggesting billionaires pay their fair share is considered communist?
If a politician pushed to slash aid to farmers while increasing infrastructure spending almost exponentially, how would he (or she) be painted in 2021? How about sending federal troops to protect civil rights demonstrators? Fighting against rollbacks of federal regulation of the economy? Expanding Social Security and increasing the federal minimum wage? Government construction of low-income housing?
I can think of no universe where Dwight Eisenhower would be considered a “far-left liberal socialist”, but I guess it depends on which side of the pole you are standing…
