“Sucks to be you” isn’t the best approach to customer service — and why Jaguar USA will fail in it’s attempted move upmarket

(just to get this out of the way — the author is fully aware that his post absolutely reeks of privilege)

Huge fan of the Jaguar brand — IMHO, the perfect combination of performance, luxury and price. (I always buy used cars — and the big cats tend to depreciate much quicker than their German counterparts) I suckered myself into picking up a 2012 XF sedan with the 5.0 V8 a few years back— which made me feel like hooligan in a very nice suit. I did my homework after bringing the car home and ended spending as much in repairs as I did in my initial purchase. I’ve made worse purchases in my day — no points for me — but I really enjoyed the car. Also, when you have a nearly 10-year old Jaguar with over 140k miles, you can’t really be all that surprised if she spends a few days in expensive shops. I may be stupid, but I’m also a realistic idiot…

I also loved going the the LA Auto show every year, where my key fob was a golden ticket to gain entry to the Jaguar owner’s club. No joke — in the middle of the convention center was a hidden oasis of free massages, barber-style haircuts, buffets and coffee drinks(!) I quickly found that for the majority of the members, this was just expected treatment. I got the sense that they just assumed the world worked like this for them wherever they went. I, on the other hand probably looked like Charlie the first time he saw Willy Wonka’s chocolate room.

Long story short: I purchased a nearly-new Jaguar iPace — the electric one — a couple of months after parting with the old sedan. I’d never paid this much for a car in my life, nor had I ever owned one this new. A factory warranty? I’d never experience such piece of mind before!

Until the car broke, then broke, then broke again.

My online research showed the likely culprit to be a faulty wiring harness that was replaced free-of-charge to my brothers in the UK as a factory recall. No such luck here in the US however. All told, the car spent 4 of the first 6 months of the year at the dealer waiting for proper diagnosis and parts. When I shared the service bulletin with them, they just shrugged and said that Jaguar USA had to authorize replacement, and they wouldn’t. Meanwhile, I’m still paying for a car and insurance and having to scramble for rides to work b/c they also wouldn’t authorize a loaner vehicle. When I took this up with corporate in New Jersey, their response was less than stellar — (paraphrased) “sucks to be you”.

Nearly new, premium brand, and your customer service response is an empathetic “sucks to be you”???

Btw — after the third visit and my being without a vehicle for 4 months, the technicians were happy to tell me that they’d finally fixed the problem. Yup — that wiring harness I pointed out at the very beginning of our little saga…

The point of all this is not any sort of pity-party or any hand-wringing about how the universe has wronged me in a mighty way. I’ve been stranded up and down the west coast in any number of questionable/old sports cars in the past. Cars are machines and machines break sometimes. The difference is that with a 30-year old BMW I know I’m on my own. The dealer barely wants to sell me parts — those are the rules. I had thought however, that a new (nearly) luxury car would come with some perks other than a free massage once a year. Not.

Jaguar has already announced that they are completely turning over their model lineup for 2025, with smaller volumes, higher prices and profits. I predict failure for the brand. If I’m going to spend Aston Martin prices (I’m not of course — way out of my league), I’ll just buy the Aston Martin. I’m paying for prestige and the two brands are not competitors. Jaguar has always been the plucky upstart that gives 95% of the luxury and performance for 70% of the price. I’m not convinced that folks will settle for 95% of the luxury/performance for 100% of the price…

There’s also the whole owner experience. Ask any Aston Martin owner who dropped $150k on a car how much she would enjoy hearing “sucks to be you, can we call you an Uber to get home?” after dropping their car off for service and being told there will be no loaner car.

Jaguar wants to play in the premium luxury brand space, but Jaguar USA has no clue how to be in that sandbox. The new cars will likely be drop-dead gorgeous as usual, and perform superbly on the road — but their dealer network will absolutely kill them and corporate HQ will be the final nail in the coffin.